Clerks
by DarksideSonic
Summary: After losing a bet to the H.I.V.E the Titans must now work as clerks at a convent store and crazy stuff begins to happen don't belive me? read and find out R&R It's done at last YEAH!
1. Chapter 1

_Clerks_

**A/N: Okay so I guess I should try and tell you people who are reading this what to expect for me, well not much I'm not trying to make it as just another Fan Fiction movie spoof for those of you who do think that then I'm sorry to tell you it's not I have see the movie Clerks and it was fucking funny as hell, But what I really liked about it was it's story(if there was one)it was just about these two clerks who just sit around and do nothing for a whole 94 minutes. And it got me thinking what if the Teen Titans were somehow clerks at a convent store and had nothing to do and had to deal with anything I could throw at them including Jay and Silent Bob!**

**I also would like to say that this fic is full of crude humor and I'm sorry if I offended anyone okay also some of the characters are not going to act like themselves but hay it's just Fan Fiction what's the worst that could happen right?**

**Note: I don't own the Teen Titans or the Clerks they belong to there rightful owners. This story goes out to Kevin Smith **

_Robin_

The phone rang reputably its sound drove Robin the boy wonder crazy it also made him fall out of the closet where he was temporally sleeping that night because his room was such a pig's sty clothes were hanging everywhere ever on the floor, oh shit Robin thought, who could call at a time like this? He picked up the phone barley he was so tired he couldn't even remember the night before he didn't even know who was calling him "Hello" he said in his poorly deep voice. "Who's this calling?" he asking "Hello fuck face" a strange voice said at the end of the receiver, after that small remark Robin knew who was calling him "Gizmo is that you?" he asking still sounding very tired. "No it's you mama, of course it's me you brain dead fuck" came out Gizmo's angry reply "What do you want and why are you calling me?" Robin asked still having no idea about what the hell was going on. "Listen you remember what happened last night?" Gizmo asked still sounding very pissed off. "No" Robin answered.

"Well I'll tell you because you were probably too wasted to remember anything it was poker night as usual it was us the H.I.V.E agents verses you fucking Titans all was going well until we and when I say 'we' I mean you Titans made a small bet whoever so lost the game had to work as a clerk at the newly opened convent store and guess what you lost"

"Oh, you've got to be kidding me" Robin said in a shocked tone of voice

"Oh, it's true but you have to take turns when going to the store and guess who's first? You are" Gizmo said in an evil tone of voice

"Can't I do it later" Robin said sounding like a spoilt brat

"Why?"

"Cos, I'm fuckin tired"

"No you have no choice"

"Fine but I'll only be there it'll 12 you got me"

"Fine whatever" Gizmo said before he hung up.

_First day of _work

Hours later Robin had gotten dressed up and ready for his first day of work as a clerk, which frankly scared the shit out of him he even told the Titans what happened and quick frankly they were mad as hell even Starfire who didn't even know what a convent store was yet alone a clerk but it didn't matter because the fact was that they lost that poker game against the H.I.V.E agents and now they were all forced to work as convent store clerks. I just don't understand Robin thought he didn't even remember a poker game that night, but the other Titans did and they all said the same thing he was the one who drank the most, parted the most and was wasted by the end of the night which was weird because he never remembered any of it.

After five minutes he got there, he parked his motorcycle in the parking lot next to the store took off his helmet and placed it on the seat, he then walked up to the store and took a good look at it.

It wasn't anything special in fact if anything it looked like an old crack house only much, much smaller the shutters where closed down with locks and they where made out of old rusted iron metal ever the locks didn't look that strong either there here also news paper boxes next to the store and they weren't that good looking either

Robin got out the shutters keys and stated to open the first one; he didn't have a problem with that he later on went to the second one this time having little luck in other words the key didn't fit in the lock.

Oh, you've got to be shitting me Robin thought as he tried hard as he could to open the shutter but still having no luck, he then went into the store and got a huge white blanket and placed in on the floor, all spread out on the ground not having found a black marker he found some black shoe polish and started to write on it using only his fingers

He later went out to place his "sigh" in the middle of the store it was huge and no one could miss it, it said

**I assure you we're open**

After that Robin went into the store and noticed that the news paper rack was empty

Oh great he thought the day just kept getting worse and worse, so he went out with yesterday's paper in his hand and spare change in the other hand and went to the nearest news paper box he put in the spare change, opened the box's door and grabbed the whole chunk of papers and pulled them out he then placed the one paper in the box it didn't matter if anybody saw him because frankly it was the last thing on his mind. He then later went into the store and sat behind the counter waiting for his first costumer

"Man it's going to be one of those days" he said quietly to himself.

**A/N: Well that's it for the first chapter if you liked it then please review it if you didn't then fuck off.**


	2. Chapter 2

_Clerks_

**A/N: Okay so this might not be a good day to update this thing but you know what I don't care as long as you people read what I write then really I could care less, so anyway here's the other part of the story **

_Smoking Kills_

Moments later after having taken the job Robin sat down and waited for his first customer he didn't have to wait long because at that moment a teenage Goth type person came into the store, he was 16 and half years old he had a black T-shirt on, he also had black jeans and grey skin. His hair covered half of face you could only see half of this right eye he also had a bit of dark make up under his eye, his teeth also seemed to sort of stick out making him look like a gothic chipmunk.

The Goth dude came to the counter and asked for a pact of cigarettes which Robin gave to him with not a care in the world he knew that he was going to die to lung cancer anyway, then suddenly out of no were a man in a blue suit came busting though the door

"Stop what you're doing" he said as he barged into the store

"Who the hell are you" both boys asked at the same time

The man walked up to the counter he seemed to have a big handbag with him which he placed on top of the counter

"The name's Trent Fisher and I'm here to tell you about the dangers of smoking" he said as he opened his bag and took out what looked like a sheep's lung and placed it on the counter

"Oh my God what the hell is that" Robin asked as he slowly backed away

"That my good friend is this young man's lung if he doesn't quit smoking this is what his lung will look like" Trent said with a smile on his face

Robin pretty much dozed off after that the man just kept going on and on about the dangers of smoking

Moments later he heard two gun shouts which woke him up he then saw that the gothic boy was packing and had shout Trent in the stomach and also killed himself

"Wow I guess it's true what they say smoking does fucking kill you" Robin said as he got out a cigarette and started smoking it in the store.

_Gizmo and Kid Wykkyd _

Meanwhile on the other side of town the two villains Gizmo and Kid Wykkyd were looking for a place to hang out and sell there "products"

"Man I fucking tired of this bullshit" Gizmo said as they stopped by a nearby corner of the street Kid Wykkyd just stood there smoking his cigarette with not a care in the world

"We should like got out to a nightclub or something and get fucked up you know what I mean, we should pick up some hot young chicks and just FUCK UM!" Gizmo went on

"You know get fucked up and eat some pussy"

A smile emerged for Kid Wykkyd's face even he liked the sound of that, because he didn't show it but he really liked partying and getting fucked up as much as Gizmo he just didn't show it.

Kid Wykkyd then noticed something very odd so he pointed it to Gizmo who was busy ranting about getting fucked up and pussy.

"Oh yeah I forgot about the bet" Gizmo said with an evil smile on his face

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" Gizmo asked Kid Wykkyd

Kid Wykkyd nodded his head and smiled evilly; he drooped his cigarette and put it out.

"Good let's go annoy the hell out of Robin" Gizmo said as he ran across the street to the store with Kid Wykkyd fallowing him.

Moments later they walked into the store a look of disgust appeared on Robin's face he also thought of why he was here in the first place

"Well, well if it isn't Robin the clerk wonder how's life been treating you lately?" Gizmo asked in a happy tone of voice

"Well pretty good until you showed you ugly little ass around hear" Robin said with a smile to boot

"Ha ha very funny asshole" came out Gizmo's angry remark

"Well since you're here why don't you take those two dead bodies out in the back and get rid of them in the dumpster"

"And why should we?" Gizmo asked not looking too happy

"I'll pay you 20 bucks" Robin said with a fist of cash in front of them

"Deal" Gizmo said as he and Kid Wykkyd ran outside to the back

They pretty soon found out that this task was much harder than they thought; first off they had to put on a pair of white gloves to not leave any fingerer prints on the bodies they also had to wear masks because of the smell and they had to spray the bodies with six cans of air fresheners.

They soon found out that the bodies were much heaver than they expected even Kid Wykkyd almost couldn't carry one of them, the bodies of course belong to Trent Fisher and that Goth dude.

Kid Wykkyd had to carry Treat's body and Gizmo had to carry the Goth dude's body which was just as heavy

After long hours of carrying two heavy bodies across the street they faunally got to the dumpster and dumped the bodies

"Hey I've got an idea" Gizmo said

"Let's blow up the dumpster" he said with a smile on his face

Kid Wykkyd gave him a confused look not knowing what he was thinking

"We blow it up so the police don't find it"

Even though it was a stupid idea Kid Wykkyd had no choice but to go along with it

Gizmo took out a stick of dynamite and threw it straight down the dumpster after which he and Kid Wykkyd made a run for it to the nearest corner of the street and watched as the dumpster blew up and flew into the air like a rocket from NASA and it quickly came down like a flaming fire ball from hell

"Wow now that's fucked up" Gizmo said still shocked from what they did

Kid Wykkyd just nodded his head and they both walked away

**A/N: Well that's it for me for now hope you enjoyed it you can review if you want to **


	3. Chapter 3

_Clerks_

**A/N: Okay so this is going to be a short chapter and sadly only one story but don't worry I promise it WILL be funny **

_Pulp Fiction_

Time passed in the store and as it did Robin felt more and even more bored it was the same thing over and over people just came in to buy cigarettes and quiet frankly Robin was begging to get quiet sick of it all but he didn't have long to wait because it was 11:45 am and he had promised Gizmo that he was only going to be in the store till 12:00 am sharp and after that it was going to be another Titan had to take over even though he didn't know who it was going to be, Robin felt sorry for whoever was going to take over from him.

This has to be the worst job on God's green earth he thought as he sat there behind the counter looking very bored, at this point he whished that anything would happen to kill the boredom.

Just then his good friend and fellow Titan Cyborg walked in but something was odd he came in dressed up as Samuel L. Jackson's character from the movie Pulp Fiction he even had on a fake afro and beard he even wore the same suit that Jackson wore in the movie.

"Hey man" he said as he walked up to the counter

"Oh, man I totally forgot about the Pulp Fiction party" Robin said as he slapped himself in the head with his hand

You see ever year the Titans host a party dedicated to there all time favorite movie Pulp Fiction it was the only movie that all the Titans liked even Raven, Starfire on the other though that the movie was a bit violent and a bit too long but she didn't care as long as the Titans all had something that they all liked than it mad her happy.

The party would usually be held in the tower and the Titans would come dressed up as their favorite characters from the movie, sometimes they would invite the Titans East and get drunk party and watch the movie.

"Yep, I guess you did man you missed it this year was the best Pulp Fiction party of all time I mean Beast Boy got so drunk he vomited all over Raven!" Cyborg said in a loud and happy tone of voice

"Really" Robin said smiling an evil smile

"Don't worry I got it all on tape" Cyborg said while laughing non-stop

Just then a purple low rider parked next to the store and two African American gang bangers came out of it.

They looked like the kind of guys you'd find in any kind of rap music video then walked up all gansta like to the store and got out their handguns or "Gats" as they liked to call them in the hood.

"Alright white boy give us the fucking the money" one of them said as he pointed a gun to Robin's face

"Yeah that donut money" the other guy said as he pointed a gun at Cyborg

"Whoa easy my brother there is no need for violence around hear" Cyborg said trying to clam him down.

"Don't fuck with me you stupid ass nigga" one of the guys said in a very angry tone of voice.

"Now don't start with that nigga shit in hear you got me" Cyborg said as he turned his arm into the sonic cannon and pointed it at the black man's face

"You ever read the Bible?" Cyborg asked the man

"No" he replied

"Well I have a passage memorized in head, a passage which I always use in times like this would you like to hear it?"

"No"

"Well then too bad because you have too"

"The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak thought the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who would attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee".

Cyborg then blew off the man's head with his cannon blood splattered all across the walls and bits of brain fell onto the floor

"Need any help cleaning this up?" Gizmo said as he barged into the store

**A/N:** **Well I know it's not that funny but still pretty good.**


	4. Chapter 4

Clerks

**A/N: Alright so far no new reviews god what is wrong with you people alright here's chapter 4 and please this time review it**

_Smoke Some Weed_

After Cyborg's little stunt Robin couldn't help but feel sorry for the guy I mean the police did promise to go easy on him but still the law was law so Robin had to quickly find a replacement for him.

Meanwhile Gizmo and Kid Wykkyd found themselves with their first customer; he was a 16 year old kid who looked like Ashton Kutcher anyone could tell that this guy was a stoner just by looking at him he wore a green jacket and blue jeans he's hair was dark brown he also looked like a very stupid person and Gizmo and Kid Wykkyd knew it.

"Excuse me are you holding?" He whispered because he didn't want to be hared buying drugs

"Yeah we got everything except your dick" Gizmo said with a smirk and a laugh the kid didn't look too imprested by this comment

"Look you got the fucking drugs or not" the teen stoner said in an angry tone of voice

"Yo just chill dude you tell me what you want and I'll see what I can do" Gizmo said as he tried to clam him down.

"Alright you got any weed?" he asked with a deep and stoned look on his face

"Yeah we got that but it's not cheep"

"How much are we exactly talking about here?"

"Fifty bucks"

The kid didn't look very happy about what he just heard, but he had no choice.

He dug deep in his pocket and got out the money, he then handed it to Gizmo.

Gizmo then gave half the money to Kid Wykkyd, they both couldn't help but feel sorry for that kid because you see the drugs that they give him was fake.

"Sucker" Gizmo said with a smile on his face as he counted the money with Kid Wykkyd, he couldn't help but smile evilly at the thought of others misfortunes.

"So what now?" Gizmo asked as he shoved his half of the money in his back pocket, Kid Wykkyd just gave him the lets-do-something-evil-to-Robin look which Gizmo always found fun.

"Yeah I got a great idea to really piss that fucker off" Gizmo said as he took out a big bag of fresh marijuana from his back pack.

Kid Wykkyd gave the biggest smile he's given all day.

A few minutes later the duo walked over to the store, Robin was still sitting around in the front counter still looking very bored he was sitting there drinking soda, he also didn't look very happy at the site of Gizmo and Kid Wykkyd.

"Oh God, what do you guys want now" Robin said not looking very amused by the sight of the two.

"Hey we just came here to give you something, cos you know you always win and stuff" Gizmo said in stupid and retarded way.

"Okay" Robin said sounding very freaked out about the whole thing "So what you got for me?" he asked knowing they were up to no good

"Oh, a bag of weed" Gizmo said as he pulled it out of his back pack and placed it on the table.

"WHAT!" Robin screamed at the top of his lungs "You can't bring in this stuff it's fucking illegal" he continued

"Hey just chill man okay we won't tell anyone if you don't tell anyone you fucking understand me?" Gizmo said as he tried to clam Robin down.

"Anyway how do you know it's a bad thing if you never tried it?" he went on "I mean me and Kid Wykkyd always try this shit out and I got to tell you it solves all of our fucking problems".

"Really" Robin asked looking very interested

"Oh yeah I mean shit happens and when it does we look for our answers in the drugs face it they solve all of our problems" Gizmo said as he started rolling it up.

"Oh what the hell give some of that" Robin said as he grabbed him a piece of weed.

**20 Minutes Of Stoning Later… **

The boys sat behind the counter completely stoned, smoke was all around the store and they could not stop laughing

"So tell me Robin what do you think of president Bush and the American government?" Gizmo asked while trying to laugh as much

"Man those guys are fucking assholes I mean Bush needs to learn that if your going to go to war with Iraq you don't have to lie to country by saying that they have Weapons Of Mass Destruction" Robin said in a loud and annoying voice.

"I bet you that sometimes Bush sucks his own dick" Gizmo said with a loud laugh

"And don't get me stared on Ronald Reagan I mean he was the worlds biggest racist he fucking hated black people I mean he failed to act when they had problems with AIDS and lets not forget he gave the weapons to Saddam in the first place" Robin said before he pasted out

Gizmo and Kid Wykkyd then got out stole them some cash and barley walked out.

**A/N: Okay sorry for the really long update but I'll try to update more often from now on. **


	5. Chapter 5

Clerks

**A/N:** **Alright ** **sorry for this really long wait but I've been busy with school and shit, it's pretty fucked up but I'm really hoping that I can get this thing done quick I've got a lot more fan fics to write but don't worry I'll try and make this as funny as I can.**

_Robin's Nightmare_

Having been tricked into smoking weed Robin laid there unconscious on the floor what began next was a series of very freaky nightmares that only illegal drugs can case.

Robin slowly began walking up he found himself walking up tied to what seemed to be an alien dissecting table, he couldn't move he was strapped to the table tightly.

"Were I am I?" he said in a beaten up voice as he slowly awoke from his sleep.

"Foolish earth creature" came out a small and almost annoying voice from the back.

"Who are you were am I" Robin demanded as he tried to break free of the chains that were holding him.

Just then a small green alien came in front of him, we was small he had green skin, two pink large eyes two antennas and three fingers.

"Don't I know you?" Robin asked looking very confused having no idea what was going on around him.

"Silence!" the little alien yelled, "You filthy human, you have the honor of your species to be the first to be experimented on" he said as he walked by to a table and grabbed what seemed to be an alien dissecting laser knife.

"Who are you?" Robin asked as he still tried to break free of his chains, but no luck he was tied there tight.

"Fool I'm the almighty Irken Invader ZIM!" he said as he also got out a hacksaw from the table.

Just then out of nowhere a small robot came tubing down he seemed to be holding a video camera he landed right on top of Zim.

"Get off of me Gir" Zim demanded, Gir's eyes quickly turned red and he got up and gave his master a solute

"Sir" he said in a strong and powerful tone of voice.

Gir's eyes then quickly returned back to their normal blue color.

"Did you get the camera film I asked for?" Zim asked his robot minion while he got the rest of his tools ready.

"Yes" Gir said as he pulled it out from the small door in his head.

A small piece of micro film popped out of Gir's head he then give it to his master.

Zim after that placed the film inside his camera and got it ready for the autopsy. He took a picture of Robin, the flash was so powerful it almost blinded the boy wonder.

"This is for the before picture" Zim said in an evil tone of voice "Now Gir get the video camera ready" Zim ordered his little robot minion.

"Just what are you planning to do to me?" Robin asked looking very confused

"Oh, I going to be the first Irken invader to film a human autopsy" Zim said as he put on his surgeon outfit he also got out his dissecting knife.

"WHAT!" Robin let out a terrified scream that could be hared from miles away, Gir also started screaming with him.

"Shut up" Zim shouted at the top of his voice to shut the two up.

Zim then got out a injection needle filled with venom of unknown origin he then injected Robin with the venom which caused him to sleep.

**Hours Of Dissecting Later…**.

Robin slowly awoke he found that he could no longer move his arms or legs, he turned his head around he saw Zim and Gir drinking ice cold smoothes.

"Hey what happen to my arms and legs?" Robin asked as he tried to move around

"Oh, I chopped them off" Zim said as he drank his smoothly.

"YOU DID WHAT!" Robin screamed as he noticed that both his arms ad legs have been hacked off.

"Don't worry, well we were going to replace your arms and legs with monkey hands and feet but Monkey Fist promised he'd sue us" Zim said as he tried to calm Robin down.

"We also got the whole thing on tape so do you want it on video or DVD?" Zim asked as he pulled out two versions of the Autopsy tape, one on video and one on DVD.

Robin then suddenly woke up in cold sweat, that's it he thought no more smoking weed ever.

**A/N: I hope you liked that chapter I'll be back with more soon.**


	6. Chapter 6

_Clerks_

**A/N: Okay so this is going to be our Kid Flash and Jinx chapter now if you are a shipper of this couple then I might suggest that you DO NOT read what's coming up because well I'm pretty anti-Kid Flash and Jinx, no really I'm not joking I can't stand them so if you hate Kid Flash and Jinx as a couple then read on if not then fuck off!!**

_Kid Flash and Jinx_

It was 12:00 AM and Robin could not have been more happier, it was finally the time for him to leave the store and never look back at it. "it's some other titan's problem now" he thought to himself as he walked out of store with a really huge smile on his face.

Just then he noticed something was wrong he noticed that his old friend and fellow teen titan Kid Flash was walking down the street with sad look on his face, which was kind of weird because Kid Flash always seemed to be one of the most lively of the Titans.

"Hey Kid Flash" Robin yelled out across the street hoping he would catch his attention, he did and Kid Flash came zooming across to were Robin was standing.

"Oh hi there Robin" Kid Flash said in a bored and almost gothic tone of voice

"What's wrong?" Robin asked looking very confused seeing his friend like this.

"Oh Jinx dumped me" Kid Flash said as he slowly started to cry and tear up.

"Oh come on now I'm sure it's not that bad" Robin said as he tried to cheer his friend up.

"NOT that bad open your eyes man she was the best piece of fucking pussy I ever had and now she's gone" Kid Flash snapped back.

"Okay clam down dude" Robin said as he tried to calm his friend down, but it clearly wasn't working.

Kid Flash then for no reason jumped up on Robin and stared punching him pretty hard on the face.

Robin quickly managed to throw Kid Flash across to the curve by using pure force.

"Alright you want to fight well then bring it on" Robin said as he got out his metal stick out.

**Meanwhile…. **

Jinx was walking across the road trying to figure out what went wrong with her life and why she broke up with Kid Flash.

Just then she noticed her old H.I.V.E teammates Gizmo and Kid Wykkyd standing right by across the street selling drugs to stoner teens.

"So that's what happened to those fuck ups" she thought to herself before she walked up to them.

Gizmo and Kid Wykkyd were not to happy seeing their former teammate after all she was the one who betrayed them and sent them to jail.

"Well, well look who it is Kid Wykkyd it's fucking little miss bad luck" Gizmo said with a very angry look on his face.

"Nice to see you too Gizmo" Jinx said as she took out a cigarette and let it up.

"I didn't know you fucking smoked" Gizmo said with a confused look on his face.

"Hey I just broke up with Kid Flash, okay don't fucking piss me off" she said as she took another smoke.

"Well good for you I knew that retard was trouble I mean he's a fucking Titan and

they all suck in my book" Gizmo said with a smile and a smirk.

"Oh, yeah that cheered me up" Jinx said in a sarcastic tone of voice.

"Hey I got an idea to get back at that fucker" Gizmo said as he got out another bag of weed.

"Okay I'm desperate enough to hear it" Jinx said while she counted smoking.

**Here is a little song I wrote  
You might want to sing it note for note   
Don't worry be happy  
In every life we have some trouble  
When you worry you make it double  
Don't worry, be happy...**

The gang snuck into the Titans East's Tower thanks to Jinx they got passed the security systems, they went into Kid Flash's room and trashed it.

Gizmo took out his hair gel and replaced it with acid he also took out his iPod and tour it apart.

Kid Wykkyd pied on his bed he also egged the place with eggs that were way overdue.

Jinx had the most fun, she took out all his old Playboys and burned them, she also took out his all his clothes and burned them.

**Ain't got no place to lay your head  
Somebody came and took your bed   
Don't worry, be happy  
The land lord say your rent is late  
He may have to litigate  
Don't worry, be happy  
Lood at me I am happy  
Don't worry, be happy  
Here I give you my phone number   
When you worry call me  
I make you happy  
Don't worry, be happy  
Ain't got no cash, ain't got no style  
Ain't got not girl to make you smile  
But don't worry be happy  
Cause when you worry  
Your face will frown  
And that will bring everybody down  
So don't worry, be happy (now)...**

They then went out to the parking lot and smashed up all of Kid Flash's cars, from the Mustang to the Porch, even the Jaguar until every car in the parking was nothing more than a scrap pile.

**There is this little song I wrote  
I hope you learn it note for note   
Like good little children  
Don't worry, be happy  
Listen to what I say  
In your life expect some trouble  
But when you worry  
You make it double  
Don't worry, be happy...  
Don't worry don't do it, be happy  
Put a smile on your face  
Don't bring everybody down like this  
Don't worry, it will soon past   
Whatever it is  
Don't worry, be happy**

And last but by no means least the H.I.V.E trio finally TP'd the tower and egged it pretty hard over and over again.

"So Jinx are you worried?" Gizmo asked with a smile on his face.

"No I'm pretty fucking HAPPY!!!" Jinx shouted out at the top of her voice

"Come on let's get some Pizza" Gizmo said as they all went to their favorite Pizza restaurant.

**A/N: Lyrics to the song Don't Worry, Be Happy by Bobby McFerrin so don't sue. Hope you enjoyed it. **


	7. Chapter 7

_Clerks _

**A/N: Okay still no new reviews so far well I don't care I'm going to finish this thing and I don't care how hard it gets I will not quit.**

_A Pimp Named Brother Blood_

After long hours of fighting Kid Flash and Robin decided to call it quits, they weren't hurt that bad mind you it's just that they were best friends and they thought violence was not the answer. So they decided to go back to the store and have themselves a couple of ice smoothes.

"So why did you and Jinx break up?" Robin asked as he supped his smoothie and got behind the counter.

"I don't know she said she had he own needs and shit" Kid Flash said as he also supped his smoothie.

"Dude have you ever tried talking to her?" Robin said in a Dr.Phil tone of voice as he tried to solve the problem.

"Yeah but she always avoids me, I mean she changed her e-mail address she moved out of town once and every time I call her she says she away on special business and sometimes I could have swore she cheated on me" Kid Flash said while looking very unhappy.

"Well what are you going to do?" Robin said knowing that his friends future was down the drain.

Just then as luck would have it Jinx walked into the store she looked like she had something very important to say.

"Listen Kid Flash I really need to tell you something tell you, Now it's not going to be pretty but I hope you can take it" She said as she walked up to Kid Flash.

"It's okay I'm sure I can take it" Kid Flash said as he tried to help himself get back with his girlfriend.

"Well first off I'm sorry for breaking up with you and the other thing is well I'm a.." Jinx was then cut off by a man who entered the store.

He was wearing a red and black suit he also had a long diamond chain with the symbol BB at the end of it he also wore four diamond rings one had a skull on it the other had the name H.I.V.E on it and the other two just had red diamonds at the end of them. He also wore a red pimp hat with a purple feather on top and he carried around a walking stick with a golden head of a skull on top.

The man slowly rose up his head and to everyone's surprise it was none other than Brother Blood who still had his mechanical parts.

"BROTHER BLOOD!!!" the two boys said at once in complete shock

"No it's A Pimp Named Brother Blood you fucking idiots" he said as he moved closer to Jinx.

"Say what?" Kid Flash said looking very confused, Robin just stood there scratching his head.

"That's my new name you see" A Pimp Named Brother Blood said as he lit him up a cigarette and stood there in front of the counter.

"Well can't we just call you Brother Blood like you always do" Robin said as he took another sip from his smoothie.

"No you see it's A Pimp Named Brother Blood, it's like _A Tribe Called Quest _you got to the whole thing you understand" A Pimp Named Brother Blood said as he tried to set the record straight.

"Jinx who is this guy?" Kid Flash asked Jinx hoping to get an answer from her as quick as he can.

"He's my pimp" Jinx said in very upset and unhappy tone of voice

"You mean you're, you're…" Kid Flash couldn't bare to utter those horrible words

"That's right she's a prostitute" A Pimp Named Brother Blood said as he counted to smoke his cigarette.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Kid Flash screamed at the top of his voice.

"I'm sorry I should have told you but with all the money I made it just got of control" Jinx said still looking very unhappy.

"And that was more important than me?" Kid Flash as he started to get a little bit angry.

"Well….Yes" Jinx said as he rose he head to look at Kid Flash.

Kid Flash just stood there from two seconds without saying anything could this really be true? Was the girl of his dreams secretly sneaking around his back fucking other guys for money? He still couldn't believe it.

"So how many guys did you sleep with?" Kid Flash asked looking very confused

"Only ten" Jinx said felling a bit happy with what she did.

"Look as much as I love family moments me and Jinx have to get on with our lives here if you don't fucking mind" A Pimp Named Brother Blood said as he grabbed Jinx by the arm.

"Look Jinx I know I can't help you choose the path you want in life but one thing I do know is that you just can't leave with this fucking dirt bag" Kid Flash said as he also grabbed Jinx by her other arm.

Jinx quickly then managed to slip the grips of both men.

"Look Kid Flash I like you and all that but lets face it you're such a fucking retard that no woman in her right mind who ever even consider sleeping with you" Jinx said in a very angry and evil tone of voice.

"Now A Pimp Named Brother Blood on the other hand has got what it takes to wow any woman on the face of the planet I mean he's rich, handsome and very good in bed also he's not as old as some people may think" she counted "Oh, yeah didn't I forget to tell you he's not just my pimp he's also my BOYFRIEND!!!" Jinx said with an evil laugh.

"But what about that stuff you said about us getting back together?" Kid Flash asked looking very upset.

"Oh, yeah I lied what can't you tell?" Jinx said still looking very evil.

As if that wasn't bad enough Kid Flash then had to witness the most sickening thing he ever saw with his two eyes, Jinx and A Pimp Named Brother Blood kissing right in front of him his jaw dropped open.

"You see puck this is what a real man does" A Pimp Named Brother Blood said as he and his girlfriend Jinx left the store.

"I'm sure you'll be able to move on sooner or later bro" Robin said as he tapped Kid Flash on the back while trying to make him feel better.

**A/N: Yes I know boo hiss but before you start bashing me with rotten comments let me ask you this "Why did Jinx even fall for a retard like Kid Flash in the first place?" and don't you think she's better off with Brother Blood?**


	8. Chapter 8

_Clerks_

**A/N: Okay sorry for the really long update but I mean school just get's in the fucking way every time I mean it's so fucking retarded but anyway if you thought the last chapter was crazy check this one out.**

_Whitney and Bobby_

Robin and Kid Flash sat there in the store watching TV Robin though he could help Kid Flash forget about Jinx by watching some good old TV, so far it didn't work until they came across an interesting news story on the E! entertainment channel the story was about none other than R&B's most rocky couple Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown. They showed a live news crew outside of the Jump City courthouse waiting for the couple to get out. The reporter who was covering the story was a hot young blonde women with really big breasts.

"We are just moments away from finding out the results of the most rockiest marriage in the history of Hollywood R&B singer Whitney Houston has just filed for divorce from hip hop singer Bobby Brown claming he had hit her during a filming of the reality TV series _Being Bobby Brown,_ Houston said that she had suffered a broken arm during the shoot" the reporter said as she flipped back her hair for all the male viewers.

The cameras then went inside the courtroom were it showed Whitney with a broken arm and Bobby standing right next to her.

"You see he wasn't going to hit me like that you see we have this TV show and…" but before Whitney could finish what she was about to say Bobby slapped her so hard it knocked her face first onto the floor.

"It's my show bitch!!!" Bobby said as he slapped Whitney shitless onto the ground.

"You know what I think their on drugs" Kid Flash said as he looked very very confused.

_Don't Ever Diss Pootie Tang!!!_

Meanwhile on the other side of the street Gizmo and Kid Wykkyd were standing around the street corner dancing non-stop with their new beat box they just got for the money they earned from selling teens illegal drugs.

Just then two guys walked down pasted them they were talking about a movie which they saw called _Pootie Tang _and how much they hated it.

"Dude that movie was so fucking retarded" one of them said to the other.

"Yeah I know you couldn't understand a word that guy said" the other one replied as they walked passed Gizmo and Kid Wykkyd.

Just then after hearing that remark the duo stopped dancing and trued around to look at the two guys who dared to diss their all time favorite movie _Pootie Tang. _

"Excuse up but did I hear you say that you two fuck ups don't like _Pootie Tang_?" Gizmo said in a very pissed off tone of voice.

"Yeah what of it?" one guy said as he bent down to look at Gizmo.

Gizmo then grabbed the guy by his ears and head butted him so hard it made his nose bleed.

Kid Wykkyd then took off his belt and started whipping the other guy with it over and over again.

Gizmo then grabbed the other guy and used his spider legs to throw him across into a steel wall he then got out a machine gun and popped the guy full of holes his blood was scattered all over the street.

Kid Wykkyd just kept beating on the other guy with his belt over and over with no sings of stopping he finished him off by choking him to death.

The duo then grabbed their beat box and ran as fast as they could to the other street

corner.

Meanwhile at the courthouse Whitney came out looking very beat up she went up to a microphone stand and started singing her most know song I Will Always Love You.

**If I should stay,  
I would only be in your way.  
So I'll go, but I know  
I'll think of you ev'ry step of the way.**

**And I will always love you.  
I will always love you.  
You, my darling you. Hmm.**

**Bittersweet memories  
that is all I'm taking with me.  
So, goodbye. Please, don't cry.  
We both know I'm not what you, you need.**

**And I will always love you.  
I will always love you.**

**I hope life treats you kind  
And I hope you have all you've dreamed of.  
And I wish to you, joy and happiness.  
But above all this, I wish you love.**

**And I will always love you.  
I will always love you.  
I will always love you.  
I will always love you.  
I will always love you.  
I, I will always love you.**

**You, darling, I love you.  
Ooh, I'll always, I'll always love you.**

Then an unknown person from the crowd thew a soda can and it hit her right on the head she then slowly fell down and died.

**A/N: Well that was fun hope you enjoyed it I know I did it's very stupid but still pretty funny.**


	9. Chapter 9

_Clerks_

**Note: look I'm really sorry about this really long update it's just these fucking exams and shit I mean it just pisses me off big time. Well I would like everyone to know that I've not given up on this story because I will finish it!!! **

_Mystery Girl_

Time seemed to be passing by pretty slowly in the store Robin had gotten so bored that he just wished he would just die.

Just then a girl walked into the store at first Robin didn't seem very interested in her but there was something about her something so innocent and kind. Robin never felt this feeling he was feeling inside him right now, it was as if the world itself was nothing more than a vast waste of space and that he and this girl were two souls just waiting to get together and do the magic the ancient world has come to know as "Making Babies".

Only one question popped into Robin's mind at that moment in time "Was This True Love?". No it can't be he thought to himself, I like Starfire and no one else his thoughts went on. Besides I'm pretty sure she's got a boyfriend or maybe she's gay who knows.

Just then she walked up to the counter and place her things on the front table she seemed to be a very interesting person up close she had blonde hair, beautiful blue eyes but there was something weird she wore an eye patch on her right eye, but she looked good none the less.

Robin was scared shitless he didn't know what to say he just rung up the things and bagged them as fast as he could.

The girl just give him the don't-I-know-from-somewhere look with her one eye.

"Hey aren't you Robin from the Teen Titans?" she asked in her lovely girly voice.

Robin just stood there, he was sweating like non-stop he then got the strength to say to her "Yeah and are you a fan?"

"Yes I'm a Big fan…" she said in a sexy tone of voice, she slowly starting to touch Robin's arm.

"I'm an even bigger fan of you" she said as she jumped at the back of the counter.

"Hey easy now" Robin said as he ran away to get away from her.

"I mean you're hot and everything but this is going WAY TOO FAST!!!" Robin screamed as loud as he could.

"You're right I'm sorry it's just that I have this huge crush on you and you know…" she said as she put on the sad face.

"Okay so what time should I pick you up" Robin said with a very shy look on his face.

"Whoa slow down there tiger let's take it slow first okay" she said

"Okay what's your name first?" Robin asked

"It's Rose that's my name it's Rose" Rose said as she shook Robin's hand.

"Well I see you tomorrow Rose?" Robin asked still blushing.

"You sure will Robin, you sure will" Rose said as she blew him a kiss and left.

For those last few minutes Robin was the happiest kid in the world.

_Slade's True Calling_

Meanwhile in Slade's secret underground lair something unaccepted happened in one of Slade's dreams you see unusually Slade would have non-stop hellish nightmares about him dying or getting his head ripped off by Satan.

But this time it was different, this time he found in an almost haven like place here he was apparently waiting from a person but he didn't know who.

Just then a really long white limo pulled up right in front of him, it had gold plated spinners on it's wheels and a hood ornament shaped like a really big "R" also made out of gold.

Then the door slowly opened and white heavenly smoke just came right out of it, then a man came out of the limo.

He was wearing a pale white suit and a narrow brim hat he also seemed to be African-American, he slowly rose up his head which showed that he was wearing a black mask that covered his eyes, his hair was made up in cornrows.

And just by looking at him Slade knew who he was.

"Oh, my stars if it isn't my hero R.Kelly" Slade said as he gazed upon his hero's glory.

"Yes that's right Slade it's me but you can call me Rob okay" R.Kelly said in his angel like voice.

"Why have you called me here Rob?" Slade asked as he raised an eyebrow under his mask.

"Well you see Slade you know I believe in God and happiness right?" R.Kelly said as he and Slade started to take a walk across the cloud.

Slade nodded his head yes and said "But what does that have to do with me?"

"Well, I used to be like you once alone, confused and bitter but after I had that car accident and lived I knew that somewhere God was keeping his eye on me so I spent my time making my beautiful R&B music and spreading the word of God" he went on "But I can't do it alone I want you when you wake up from this dream to dedicate the rest of your life doing good and telling the world about God"

"But what's in it for me?" Slade asked still looking very confused

"If you do this God will help clean all your sins and get you into Heaven" R.Kelly said

"Alright I'll do it" Slade said as he and R.Kelly shook hands.

"Now quote my all powerful and wise words" R.Kelly said as he tried to make sure Slade got the picture.

"Love God, Love myself Love one another No matter what the color Respect that woman Respect that man, If you see a person down Then give them a hand Hit the health club every now and then. Put a smile on your face And make a friend.

Stop that hatin' and negativity so love your neighbor Said the powers that be If you're going through something Don't take it out on me Just ask God to fix it Now be happy!"

And with that Slade woke up with a smile on his face knowing what his true calling was all along.

**A/N: Yes that's right I'm a R.Kelly fan till the end I just love the man okay so he has some issues okay but what are you prefect? Anyway hope you enjoyed this part of the story. See you soon.**


	10. Chapter 10

_Clerks_

**A/N: Well this is surly going to win me the most fucked up piece of crap fan fiction award if there was such a thing well anyway here's the rest of the story. **

_Spreading the word of God_

Slade walked out of his lair a new man he had no longer had the urge to take over the world, no he now had a new mission to spread the world of God to all the people who have sinned in their lifetimes.

Slade now wore a new battle suit this time it wasn't black red and silver it was now just white and black even his mask was now just white on one side and black on the other.

He also carried around with him his own version of the Bible which he liked to call "Slade's Bible" in it he wrote pretty much everything he knows about his heroes and their sassy comments about religion and God.

He went up to Dr.Drakken's evil lair and knocked on the door three times then after five minutes Drakken answered the door.

"Slade what the hell do you want?" Drakken asked looking very confused

"Well Drew first of all I want to tell you that I'm now a changed man" Slade said in an all powerful and wise voice.

"How so?" Drakken asked still confused

"Well you see last night I had a dream a dream were my hero R.Kelly told me I was wasting my time with this super villain shit and he also told me to spread the word of God and white and black Jesus" Slade went on "You see I now know why my life sucks so bad it's because me and God aren't always good friends you know what I mean?"

"No" Drakken replied still very confused.

"Well have you ever wondered why your skin's blue?" Slade asked

"No why?" Drakken asked at this point he started to look pretty offended.

"It's because you sin, you see every time you sinned God made your skin get bluer and bluer get it now?" Slade said as he raised an eyebrow.

Drakken said nothing for two seconds he thought about it and in a crazy sort of way it kind of made sense in a weird point of view.

"Well okay I'll help you but what's the catch?" he asked trying to make sure it wasn't a sick joke or anything.

"No catch I'm just trying to help make the world a better place for all the little boys and girls" Slade said as he raised both his hands up in the air.

"Yeah so what do you want me it do?" Drakken asked while he scratched his head.

Slade then gave him a copy of _his_ Bible and told him read it over and over again and then tell everyone he knew about Slade's massage.

It took Drakken some time to understand Slade's view of religion but seeing that it all somehow made sense Drakken decided to go along with it.

_Crazy_

Elsewhere at the time fellow teen titan member Raven walked into the convent store she still had on her dark and gothic look as she walked in looking very unhappy as usually.

To her surprise she found Robin sitting in the back of the counter looking happy?

This scared her, after all the bad energy she felt from Robin when he took the job and now she comes in to find him happy?

"Alright what the fuck is going on her" she said in her usually dark and dry tone of voice.

"Oh, hey Raven it's a beautiful day isn't it?" Robin said in a very happy tone of voice

"Okay…" Raven said in all freaked out tone of voice.

"No really it is" Robin said still smiling

Raven sensed his emotions and felt a very strong feeling of love deep inside him.

"So who's the lucky girl?" Raven asked with a small smile on her face.

"Oh, her name's Rose I don't know when she's coming back but when she does were going on a date" Robin said as he whipped the counter.

"You know Starfire likes you too" Raven tried to remind him of this impotent fact

"Yeah but Starfrie's annoying…" Robin said as he slowly turned away his head.

"Okay you got that part but she likes you for who you are" Raven still tried to remind Robin of this but it was still no luck.

"But I love this Rose girl" Robin said in a deep tone of voice.

"Say what?" Raven said as her jaw dropped.

"Mother Fucker you crazy?" Raven just screamed at the top of her voice.

"Here you have a girl who maybe from another planet but she still loves you for who you _really _are!" Raven just went crazy for a minute.

At this point Robin was scared shitless he slowly hid behind the counter and started to curl up.

"Jeez what a fag" Raven said as she looked up in embarrassment.

**Elsewhere…**

At a nearby garden party rich white people were having themselves a good time until however Gizmo and Kid Wykkyd came crashing it.

Gizmo walked up to a nearby microphone and told the people _the truth._

"Attention everybody I have something to say Jesus was black, Ronald Reagan was the devil and the government is lying about 9/11 tank you for your time"

"Noooooo this can't be true!!!!!" a white woman screamed at the top of her voice before she fainted.

After that all hell broke loss a rich man punched a waiter right it the noise and then stepped on his face.

Then P.Diddy punched Jessica Simpson right in the face and then broke he neck.

After that Shaq kicked Kobe right in the nuts.

Donald Trump grabbed a steel chair and hit Ted Turner in the head with it.

Osama Bin Laden grabbed George W. Bush by the throat and threw him into a tank of man eating sharks who tore him limb from limb.

Dr.Dre grabbed Paris Hilton and slammed her face straight into a coffee table which broke on impact.

Mel Gibson tore off the head of a Jewish man and threw it into the sky.

MC Hammer started dancing around in his puffy pants and started singing "U Can't Touch This"

After that Gizmo woke up in a cold sweat he thought that he would never ever tell the truth again as long as he lived.

**A/N: That's it for me for now but I'll be back soon don't worry.**


	11. Chapter 11

_Clerks_

**A/N: Holly shit it's been a long time since I updated this thing huh? Well I've been busy okay and I've been distracted by My Space okay I mean can you blame me?**

_My Love_

Robin waited there in the store he waited for Rose to come back so he could ask her out, but she never really came back he was just about to close the store until she came rushing in.

"I'm really sorry but I just went to get the new Akon album _Konvicted_ so that's why I'm late" Rose said with a smile and a giggle.

"Oh, brother…" Raven who was at the back of the store mumbled she never really believed in the whole "love at first sight" thing she thought it was nothing more than bullshit.

"Hey I didn't know you were an Akon fan?" Robin said as he rubbed the back of his head in total surprise.

"Yeah I know it's weird but I grew up loving R&B and Hip Hop my dad thinks it's garbage but I don't" Rose said she slightly blushed.

"So were do you want to go?" Robin asked as he slowly raised an eyebrow.

"I was thinking maybe a nice restaurant and dinner?" rose said as she still was blushing.

"Oh, God that's lame" Raven still mumbling at the back.

After Robin and Rose left Raven sat behind the counter watching TV until Beast Boy walked it.

But somehow he looked different for one thing he was wearing sunglasses and he had his green hair in cornrows he walked up to the counter and smiled.

"Hey Rae what's happing?" he said in his stud like voice.

"Oh, great as if this day couldn't get any worse" Raven said in a sarcastic tone of voice.

"Oh c'mon I'm sorry about the whole vomit thing okay I was drunk" Beast Boy said as he took off his sunglasses.

"No it's not that it's Robin" Raven said as she walked up front.

"What about him did you finally _come out of the closet?_" Beast Boy said with a huge smile on his face.

"No, I wish it's that Rose chick I have a feeling I've seen her somewhere before" Raven said with a very suspicious look on her face.

"Ah, you must of seen her on one of those Jay-Z music videos, you'd be surprised how many girls my age are into that wired shit" Beast Boy said as he put his sunglasses back on.

"Yeah what's with the new look Beast Boy?" Raven asked looking a bit freaked out at that point.

"Well just a new tread if you will you see I have my hair in cornrows because Snoop Dogg has his hair in cornrows and I'm wearing sunglasses because P.Diddy wears sunglasses all the time" Beast Boy tried to give an excise for his new look.

"Yeah, no shit…" Raven said in her deep throaty voice.

"So…you want to do it in the store?" Beast Boy said as he scratched the back of his head nervously.

"Yeah sure what not" Raven said as she grabbed Beast Boy by the hand and dragged him to the back of the store.

Raven then got down on her knees and quickly started up zipping Beast Boy's pants.

"You know this is first time" raven said as she went down low.

"Yeah I kind of figured that one out" Beast Boy said as he took off his shirt.

**If I wrote you a symphony**

**Just to say how much you mean to me **

**what would you do**

**If I told you you were beautiful**

**Would you page me on the regular **

**tell me would you**

Raven stated doing her thing down there and Beast Boy never felt so good.

**Well baby I've been around the world**

**But I aint seen myself another girl **

**like you**

**This ring here represents my heart**

**But there is just one thing I need from you **

**saying I do **

Beast Boy then quickly got on top of her and stated taking off her clothes and stated licking her body.

**Because, I can see us holding hands**

**walking on the beach our toes in the sand**

**I can see us in the country side**

**sitting in the grass laying side by side**

**You can be my baby**

**Gonna make you my lady**

**Girl you amaze me**

**Ain't gotta do nothin crazy**

**See all I want you to do is be my love**

The two then grabbed each other very tightly and then both started to moan a groan pretty loudly.

My love

My love

**And I know no woman that could take your spot **

**My love**

**My love**

**My love **

**And I know no woman that could take your spot **

**My love**

**My loooooooove**

**Looooooove**

**My loooove **

**My loooove **

Beast boy stated kissing on her neck, he moved back and forth it was like being touched by a feather.

**Now If I wrote you a love note **

**And make you smile with every word I wrote **

**what would you do **

**Would that make you wanna change your scene**

**And wanna be the one in my scene **

**tell me would you**

**See what's the point in waiting anymore**

**Cause girl I've never been more sure **

**that baby it's you**

They then started French kissing very hard Beast Boy would move his tongue clockwise and Raven moved hers anticlockwise.

It all happened way to fast and just like that it was over.

**This ring here represents my heart**

**And everything that you been waiting for **

**Just saying I do**

**Because, I can see us holding hands**

**Walking on the beach our toes in the sand**

**I can see us in the country side**

**Sitting in the grass laying side by side**

**You can be my baby**

**Gonna make you my lady**

**Girl you amaze me **

** these lyrics found on **

**Aint gotta do nothin crazy**

**See all I want you to do is be my love **

**My love**

**My love **

**And I know no woman that could take your spot my **

**My love**

**My love**

**My love **

**And I know no woman that could take your spot my **

**My love**

**My looooooove**

**Loooooove**

**My looooove**

**My loooooove **

"I love you" Raven wisped in Beast Boy's ears he smiled and said "I love you to Rea"

For the first time in her life Raven smiled and giggled.

**Shorty, cool as a fan **

**On the new once again **

**but Still has fans from Peru to Japan **

**Listen baby, I don't wanna ruin your plan **

**But if you got a man, try to lose him if you can **

**Cause your girls real wild throw your hands up high **

**Wanna come kick it wit a stand up guy **

**You don't really wanna let the chance go by **

**Because you ain't been seen wit a man so fly **

**Friend so fly I can go fly **

**Private, cause I handle mine **

**t.i. - Call me candle guy, simply because I am on fire **

**I hate to have to cancel my vacation so you can't deny **

**I'm patient, but I ain't gonna try **

**You don't come, I ain't gonna die **

**Hold up, what you mean, you can't go why**

**Me and you boyfriend we ain't no tie **

**You say you wanna kick it with an ace so high **

**Baby, you decide that I ain't your guy **

**Ain't gon lie ,Me in your space **

**But forget your face, I swear I will **

**Same mark, same bullet anywhere I chill **

**Just bring wit me a pair, I will **

"So are you going to tell the other Titans about this?" Raven asked with a scared look on her face.

"Are you fucking kidding me?, they'd freak if they knew about this" Beast Boy said as he moved closer to her.

"So…you're saying we should keep it a secret?" Raven said looking a bit confused.

"Yeah…yeah I think we should" Beast Boy said as he looked away for a minute

"Okay but if anyone asks remember we were _just playing cards _you got it?" Raven said with a very stone cold look on her face.

"Yes it's very _Taboo" _Beast Boy said in a very sexy tone of voice.

Raven just smiled and began kissing him.

**I can see us holding hands**

**Walking on the beach our toes in the sand**

**I can see us in the country side**

**Sitting in the grass laying side by side**

**You can be my baby**

**Gonna make you my lady**

**Girl you amaze me**

**Aint gotta do nothin crazy**

**See all I want you to do is be my love **

**Love**

**My love**

**Love**

**My love**

**Love **

**And I know no woman that could take your spot **

**My love**

**Love **

**My love**

**Love**

**My love**

**Love **

**And I know no woman that could take your spot **

**My looooooove**

**Loooooove**

**My looooooove**

**My Looooove**

Meanwhile in a parking lot…

Robin and Rose were making out in a car.

All was going well until Rose just stopped and said "Robin I need to tell you something and I'm afraid it's going to fucking freak you out"

"No it's cool I can take it" Robin said with a smile on his face.

"Well I'm Slade's Daughter" Rose said in a sad tone of voice.

"Oh, shit" Robin said with a fucked up look on his face.

**A/N: Well now that's a nice way to end a chapter isn't it? Well be assured it's not going to be the last of me, and oh, yeah My Love lyrics by Justin Timberlake and T.I so don't sue.**


	12. Chapter 12

_Clerks_

**A/N: Okay now I really need to get this thing done by now I'm thinking that this should only last for about 14 Chapters, yeah that's it 14….**

_Slade's Interview_

Robin was still in shock after all he just found out that the girl he was going out with was in fact the daughter of his arc-foe Slade what was he to do?

Believe it or not he just started laughing shaking his head and laughing thinking about all the stuff he's been thought that day.

Rose just looked at him and "What why are you laughing?"

"I'm just thinking about all the shit I've been thought" Robin replied still laughing out loud.

Rose just smiled and said "You know what I've been thought it too"

"Really tell me all about it" Robin said as he stopped laughing.

"Well my dad just changed sides you know?" she counted "He says that he's found God and he's been going on telling people how to get into heaven"

"Really I just can't imagine him doing those things" Robin said as he almost busted out laughing.

"He's got an interview tonight on Jump City TV" Rose said as she turned on the car's TV.

The screen went on, it showed a white guy in a suit sitting in a huge white table with Slade just right next to him.

"Hi and welcome to Jump City tonight" the host said as he looked at the camera

"Tonight we have with us a man who has changed the way we look at religion and God, he is of course author of _the New York Time's bestselling _book _The Right Way Into Heaven _please welcome Reverend Slade Wilson!!!"

The members of the crowd cheered as Slade sat there smiling under his mask.

"Well before I start off I would just like to say that Mr.TV host I love you, respect you and like that manly smell you have on it's very nice" Slade said in a weird tone of voice.

"Okay…..so can you tell us about your book?" the host said in a very freaked out tone of voice.

"Well it's easy you see I had a dream, a dream were my hero R.Kelly told me I was wasting my time being a supper villain and that I should follow the path of God"

Slade then got out a picture of Jesus and pointed to it and said "Look at this lovely man if God looked like Jhonen Vasquez do you think his son would look like this?"

"Yeah…I guess not, so anyway tell us more about the book _itself_" the host said in a very unconvertible tone of voice.

"Well you see in my book _The Right Way Into Haven _I talk to people mostly everyday drunken losers and teens about the _real story _of Jesus and God" he continued "Well you see teenagers nowadays waste their time playing _Mortal Kombat _or listening to crappy music on their ipods like Usher or Michael Jackson but what they don't think about is religion and who can blame them when I was a young boy I never though much about God or Jesus but now I do and if they would just read my book they would know that" Slade said in a preachy tone.

"And what do you think of the American government?"

"Well the government is trying to butt-fuck us right now but we'll see who butt-fucks who?" Slade said in an evil tone of voice.

"Wow I didn't know Meddle Lark Lemon died" the host replied seeming very confused

"Who's Meddle Lark Lemon?" Slade said while raising an eyebrow.

At that point Rose turned off the TV.

"You see what I mean" she said as she turned he head around to look at Robin.

"Well at least he's not evil anymore right?" Robin said as he scratched the back of his head.

"Look I was thinking of joining the Titans" Rose said

This was a shock to Robin one side of him wanted her to join but the other side didn't and what were the others going to think?

"Look I would love to have you be a Titan but I just can't the others have to have their say in this" Robin said as he tried to look away.

"Okay, I didn't want to tell you this but there's this new group called _The Secret Society Of Supper Villains _and I have reason to believe there planning something but I don't know what so if you just let me join the team" Rose said in a very dark tone of voice.

"Okay you can join I guess…" Robin said sounding like he made the biggest mistake

Of his life

**A/N: Well I know it's short but I want to get this thing over with quickly as I can I have another idea for a story I want to do.**


	13. Chapter 13

_Clerks_

**A/N: Well I haven't got much to do now I just want to get this thing as fast as I could.**

_Rose's Test_

Beast Boy, Raven and Kid Flash all sat there in the store watching a movie they were all bored as hell until Robin and Rose walked in looking very nervous

"Everyone I have something to tell you" he said as he slowly started to sweat "Well…you see Rose is Slade's daughter and she's now a new member of the Titans"

There was silence in the room for about two seconds, finally Raven got up and walked over to Robin and gave him the What-The-Fuck-Are-You-Thinking? Look which almost scared him.

"Look Robin we like the fact that you're trying to get new people to join the Titans but I don't think Rose is cut out for this shit" Raven said in her dark and deep voice.

"Hey, I can handle myself thank you very much" Rose said in a tuff tone of voice.

"Well I say we should give her a test" Kid Flash said as he zoomed across next to Raven.

"What kind of test?" Rose asked as she raised an eyebrow.

**Ten Minuets Later…**

The gang were in an old ally in the bad side of town, three limos pulled in over by the side.

Rose came out wearing an outfit very similar to Slade's, she wore very hard armor which was bulletproof, her hair stuck out from the back and half her face was covered with a mask that looked like Slade's.

"So who are you suppose to be?" Raven said in a sarcastic tone.

"I'm The Ravager!!!" Rose said in a heroic tone of voice.

"Well either way it won't matter much longer" Kid Flash said

"Yeah because after this it'll be all over" Beast Boy added with an evil smile on his face.

"So the question is are you ready?" Raven said in a very dark tone of voice.

"I'm ready, I'm not afraid" Rose said in a strong tone.

"Oh, you well be you _will be" _Raven said

They all walked up to the ally which was so creepy and secure a crazy mother fucker could get away with murder.

Three limos were parked next to the ally, inside them were Rose's opponents if she could beat all three of them then she would become a Titan.

Tom Cruise, Jack Black and Sean Penn all walked out and were ready to fight.

"What? That's my test I have to beat up these ass holes" Rose said looking a bit confused.

"Bring it on bitch!!!" Jack Black said in a very drunken tone.

Ravager ran up and took out a sword from her back and sliced off Jack Black's head right off blood started spilling out non-stop.

"Holly Shit!!!" Robin said in a very freaked out tone.

Sean Penn ran up and tried to punch her but she quickly grabbed his arm and broke it..

She then kicked him so hard it sent him flying across the ally and into a subway were he was squashed by a train.

Tom Cruise just gave her an angry look.

"I can see that you're _very upset_" Ravager said in a taunting tone.

"You've never seen me…._very upset_" Tom Cruise said in a pathetic angry tone.

He tried to hit her by running as fast as he could but he slipped on a banana pile and collapsed onto the floor and was knocked out.

"So did I pass your test or not?" Rose said as she looked at the other Titans with a cheerful smile.

"Fine I guess so…" Raven said looking very pissed off.

**A/N: Okay I know this is short too but I'm trying to get this done as fast as I can.**


	14. Chapter 14

_Clerks_

**A/N: Okay I would like to start off by telling you that what you're about to read is completely re-written the original chapter was well stupid it was about Christmas and shit and it just didn't work out the way I planed so I had to re-write this whole final chapter hope you enjoyed the story….**

_The Big Mother Fucking Finale _

_(AKA: Ghetto Rock!!!)_

It was two days before new year's eve and the Titans were very all excited about the new year they knew that they were going to get drunk get fucked up and smoke as much weed as they could.

While watching TV Cyborg came across a very interesting news story on CNN it was about Saddam Hussein's hanging, at first Cyborg wanted to get up and shout out "Yeah we finally killed that mother fucking son of a bitch!!!".

But then as he watched him there scared shitless and totally scared of dying as they wrapped that big rope around his neck, Cyborg began to think of who the real monsters were was it the man getting hung or was it the guards hanging him?

After thinking about this for two and half seconds Cyborg almost felt sorry for him but then he quickly flipped the channel to BET and laughed his ass off as he watched a re-run of _The Jamie Foxx Show _he then thought to himself "Man that Jamie Foxx is one funny mother fucker".

It was officially the day before new year's eve and everybody at Titan's tower was getting ready in there own special way.

Beast Boy was wondering the halls looking for Raven he found her standing outside her room.

He ran up to her and kissed her real hard on the cheek, he then called her his sunshine

"So what are you going to this new years eve?" Beast Boy asked while raising an eyebrow.

"I don't know I was thinking of maybe staying here for the night" Raven said as she tried to look away.

"Well I was thinking of maybe you, and me staying in for the night and maybe you know fuck while were at it?" Beast Boy said as he scratched the back of his head.

"Okay, but you got to promise me that no one and I mean NO ONE can find out about this" Raven said as she walked closer to Beast Boy.

**Meanwhile…**

Gizmo and Kid Wykkyd were still standing outside the store waiting for new customers to show up and buy there drugs.

Just then Kid Flash came walking by, he was carrying a huge box of video types.

"Hey what you got there fuck face?" Gizmo said as he and Kid Wykkyd stood in Kid Flash's way.

"Well believe it or not this here is a box full of the Titan's and Slade's dirty little secrets I got them off e-bay" Kid Flash said.

"As in sex tapes?" Gizmo said as he raised an eyebrow.

"Well what else would they be?" Kid Flash said.

"I was thinking of watching them on new year's eve but don't tell Robin" he continued

"Oh, we won't if you just let us watch them with you" Gizmo said as he lit himself a smoke.

"Okay, fine whatever…" Kid Flash said as he walked by passed them.

**Titans Tower**

Robin was busy getting dressed for his big date with Rose.

Just then he hared a loud crash coming from downstairs he quickly ran to see what it was, what he saw was Rose and Starfire fighting in the tower.

Robin knew what to do he just ran up between the two of them, one of Starfire's bolts hit him right in the leg which wounded him pretty badly.

**Five Minutes Later….**

Robin woke up in the infirmary room he was hurt pretty badly the only person who was with him was Cyborg.

"Dude you were pretty fucked up back there" Cyborg said as he looked at the charts

"What happen?" Robin asked raising an eyebrow.

"Well Starfire hit you with one of here bolts" Cyborg said.

"Oh, shit…were are the girls now?" Robin asked sounding worried.

"There at the mall but I wouldn't go there if I was you there pretty pissed off my advice move on" Cyborg said.

"Yeah you're right I have been a fool into thinking I could sore with the two of them" Robin said feeling very depressed.

"Look if it's gonna make you feel any better I just got Lil Jon and the east side boyz to come and play here at the tower for new year's eve" Cyborg said.

"Yeah sounds fun but I can't stay I got to make sure Kid Flash doesn't burn the store down" Robin said as he got up and left for the store.

**New Year's Eve…**

Back at the store Kid Flash was searching through the box for a tape that would satisfy them for the new year.

He then came across something interesting it was a tape labeled "Terra's Greatest Hits Vol.1" curios to see what it was he quickly grabbed it and ran off to the back of the store.

"So what you get?" Gizmo asked as he and Kid Wykkyd sat there in the back with popcorn.

"Well I'm not sure but I bet it's pretty sick and twisted" Kid Flash said as he placed the tape inside the VCR.

It started out in a dark bed room which was probably inside Slade's old lair.

Terra then came on wearing a sexier version of her battle suit she then looked at the camera and smiled a sexy smile.

"Are you ready to get your freak on?" A voice said in the background which was probably Slade's.

Exotic music started playing in the background and Terra started doing the "Buffalo Bill" dance in _Silence of the lambs._

"Do you want to fuck me?" she said in a sexy tone of voice.

She then slowly started taking her top off.

It was at this point that Robin walked into the store he was pretty much shocked at what he saw.

"WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON HERE!!!!" he screamed at the top of his voice.

"Look dude relax were just here screwing around nothing serious okay?" Kid Flash said as he tried to calm Robin down.

"Man you're right it's just that things really have gotten fucked up lately" Robin said as he walked over to a nearby chair and sat down.

Kid Flash handed him a beer and said "Man you'll get over it…"

Robin just sat there and drank his misery away.

"You know there are a lot of girls in this town but only one can fill up that special place in your heart" Kid Wyykyd said.

Robin and Kid Flash just gave out a weird look.

"Oh, yeah he does this sometimes you know he only talks to try and make a point or some shit like that" Gizmo said while rolling his eyes.

"You know what he's right I'm going to go and tell Starfire how much I love her" Robin said as he quickly ran out the store.

"You think he's got a chance?" Kid Flash said

"Hell no" Gizmo said as he lit himself a smoke.

**The Mall…**

Starfire was sitting on a beach waiting for Rose to get back from the restroom.

All of a sudden Robin came busting though the front door screaming "Starfire I love you!!!!"

Starfire got up and walked over to him and said "Is this true?"

"Yes I didn't truly realize it up until now you see you're the type of person I could see spending the rest of my life with I know life can get crazy sometimes but you have always been there for me and I just can't let you go, I want to be your lover and your friend" Robin said.

"Oh, Robin that is so sweet" Starfire said as she wrapped her arms around him and kissed him hard on the lips.

**Titans Tower…**

"YEAH!!!! I guess it all worked out at the end now before we end this bitch I want all ya'll start singing with me yeah alright WHAT!!!!" Lil Jon said as he and the east side boyz came up on stage.

**What, hey hey, it the kings of crunk  
Bitch (bitch), Lil Jon (Lil Jon), Lil Bo (Lil Bo), Big Sam (Big Sam), hey (hey),  
This shit right here for everybody that's proud of the motherfuckin city (yeah)  
you proud of your mothafuckin' neighborhood (yeah) shit! (shit!)**

**Let's go,  
Ohh what's this shit that you throwin' up, East side nigga,  
Ohh What's the click that you represent, West side nigga,  
Ohh what's this shit that you throwin' up, North side nigga,  
Ohh what's the click that you represent, South side nigga.**

**Well get it crunk, mothafucker get crunk,  
Ohh get crunk mothafucker get crunk**

**Well get it crunk, mothafucker get crunk,  
Ohh get crunk mothafucker get crunk**

**Wonderin' who am I, I'm bo hagon BME representer heaven sent a nigga who enter this cold as the winter,  
step away from the top, step away from the block, step away from shootin' or gettin shot, bitch nigga  
fuck that you buck we buck back, what you think we cut slack for some kind of tough cat,  
just cause some nigga was dead, with the head leakin out, pink and red leakin out, now them feds sneakin out, nigga fuck it, we'll hop in the bucket and haul ass, you was mad cous I seen you was  
we'll hop in the bucket and haul ass, you a snake cause I seen you was creepin' in tall grass,  
I bust em all fast repeatedly, and heatedly tryed to make that  
mothafucker leave imediately ima pimp I'm a gansta all the above and I'm worldwide  
babygirl show me some love, we gon drank real good and decent bud bo hagon you don't give a damn  
we don't give a fuck.**

**Well get it crunk, mothafucker get crunk,  
Ohh get crunk mothafucker get crunk  
**

**Well get it crunk, mothafucker get crunk,  
Ohh get crunk mothafucker get crunk**

**You from the south side nigga represent that shit  
You from the mid-west nigga represent that shit  
You from that east coast nigga represent that shit  
You from the west coast nigga represent that shit  
Now throw your motherfuckin' click up high in the sky  
Now throw your motherfuckin' boys up high in the sky  
Now throw your motherfuckin' squad up high in the sky  
Now throw your motherfuckin' sets up high in the sky**

Get crunk in this bitch, shake your dreads in this bitch  
Get crunk in this bitch, throw some bows in this bitch  
Get crunk in this bitch, niggas start that shit  
Get crunk in this bitch, niggas start that shit  
Get crunk in this bitch, start pushing and shit  
Get crunk in this bitch, run around in this bitch  
Get crunk in this bitch, run around in this bitch  
Get crunk in this bitch, start a mosh pit

**Well get it crunk, mothafucker get crunk,  
Ohh get crunk mothafucker get crunk**

**Well get it crunk, mothafucker get crunk,  
Ohh get crunk mothafucker get crunk**

**Now bitch niggas straight crunk  
Its beena long time for a nigga to act the way  
we actin'  
I tell you what, its been a long time for a nigga  
to act like the way we livin'  
Well fuck us, shiat**

(Straight crunk, straight crunk, straight crunk,  
straight crunk, straight crunk, straight crunk,  
straight crunk)

**I don't give a fuck nigga, I don't give a fuck hoe  
If your ass act up, we'll stomp that ass to the floor  
I don't give a fuck nigga, I don't give a fuck hoe  
If your ass act up, we'll stomp that ass to the floor**

Pussy nigga, what what, pussy nigga, what what  
Bitch nigga, what what, bitch nigga, what what  
Pussy nigga, what what, pussy nigga, what what  
Bitch nigga, what what, bitch nigga, what what

**Well get it crunk, mothafucker get crunk,  
Ohh get crunk mothafucker get crunk**

**Well get it crunk, mothafucker get crunk,  
Ohh get crunk mothafucker get crunk**

**Well get it crunk, mothafucker get crunk,  
Ohh get crunk mothafucker get crunk**

And as the night went on everybody partied to the new year they got drunk got wasted smoked a lot of weed and pretty much hade a lot and I mean a lot of oral sex with each other….

**THE END….**

_Lil Jon Moves In With The Titans_

_(AKA: The Eploge)_

The next day as the Titans were all sitting down getting ready for breakfast when all of a sudden Lil Jon came out yelling "YEAH!!! What's Up Teen Titans!!!!"

"Um.. Cyborg what's he still doing here?" Robin asked while feeling very unconvertible.

"Oh, well you see Lil Jon didn't have a place to stay for the night so I asked him to spend the night here" Cyborg said while he was cooking the food.

"YEAH and I think I'm gonna stay here plus the recording studio ain't that far away from here so I can go there record an album and come back here to hang with you guys YEAH WHAT!!!!" Lil Jon said as his golden teeth sparkled.

"Sure why not we always wanted to have a celebrity around here anyway so yeah I guess you can live here as long as you want.." Robin said with smile on his face.

"YEAH WHAT OKAY!!!!" Lil Jon yelled in excitement.

"YEAH!!!!!" All the Titans except for Raven yelled.

**Now that's the real end….**

**YEAH!!!**

WHAT!!!

OKAY!!!

**A/N: Well I guess that's it for me for now but I'll see you all real soon…hope you enjoyed the story I know I did, also the lyrics to the song "Get Crunk" are by Lil Jon And The East Side Boyz YEAH WHAT!!!!**


End file.
